Went to bed late last week and had already switched off all my lights. Wanted to open the curtains a bit to open the window for more air, and noticed a shadow race past me across the roof of the extension. I didn't have my glasses on but it was the size of a cat. I've never once seen a cat on our extension roof. However, the noises coming out of the extension ceiling suggest a sizeable animal who has probably put on so much weight by now that one of these days, he'll be crashing through the ceiling into our dinner, along with big great slabs of ceiling plaster.
I left that window shut, just in case, but couldn't help thinking that Rizzo had been parking himself right in front of my bedroom window, like he did with the patio, paws to the glass, nose squished up against it, waiting for his chance.
"We're putting that trap up on the roof tonight, yes?" OH said. "We'll try that. The hedgehog won't climb this high, surely."
"Okay," I said. I was scrolling lazily through youtube videos of animals being cute and got stuck on a couple that were featuring owl babies.
"Why don't we get ourselves an owl?" I asked OH. "He'd take care of Rizzo and his mates. We'll just push him through the access hatch into the ceiling space and try not to think of what happens next."
"Bad juju, owls," OH objected, "Aren't they harbingers of death? Imagine these things gliding silently through the house at night."
I looked at a particularly cute owl baby being patted on the head. Then it opened its eyes and you instantly saw the predator it would become. A pissed-off predator. A take-your-sausage-fingers-off-my-head-or-I'll-chew-them-off-ya sort of look it had. Then I was reminded of my friend Angela who orders deep-frozen chicks, thaws them out and feeds them to her gigantic cats, who live in her tiny city flat. The blood is all over her kitchen floor, every day. That's what my owl would need too. I clicked youtube away and carried on reading about the slow-motion car crash currently unfolding in Greece. These guys need all the owls of wisdom they can get!
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